Summer is in full swing and things at Ignite are going well. The Young Women’s Empowerment Class completed last month and they liked it so much we are going to continue monthly check ins! I’m hoping there will be more interest in this class to start a new one this fall. Here are our final vision boards:
I’ve welcomed some new clients recently who are looking for support as they transition out of unhealthy relationships, as well as some couples who are trying to find healthier ways to communicate. Stress can impact our relationships, how we communicate, as well as how we make progress towards our goals. Self-care is a must as we manage day to day responsibilities as well as find ways to address the grief and loss in our lives.
One of my favorite subjects is gratitude. Finding ways to pay attention to what we have rather than what is missing can really make a difference in our frame of mind. Gratitude jars were a hit in my class as well as many of my clients are tracking gratitude in their journals. Right now I have a couple more spots open for new clients; I hope that if you or someone you know could benefit from counseling or a life coach that you will contact me!
Excited to announce a new class I’m providing! Have you ever wanted to create a vision board?
Do you know a young woman who has dreams & goals she would like support with? Does she wish she knew more young women who could support her in meeting her goals? Let’s talk about it! Starting April 1st through 5/13/17 this young women’s class (ages 18 to 24) will meet Saturdays from 4:00pm to 5:30pm at 696 Country Club Rd, Eugene, OR. Please email me at email@example.com or call/text 541.870.2904 for more details.
A few clients and some friends have been going through some tough break ups recently. Break ups can be very difficult when tensions are high, emotions are raw, and they can be complicated more when couples have been living together as well. It is important to be patient with yourself as well as to utilize supports.
Here are some things to consider doing for yourself as you go through this transition:
1. Journal: Write down your feelings, experiences, and don’t hold back.
2. Listen to music- find music that speaks to your heart!
3. Lean on your friends and family; tell them what will be helpful in supporting you.
4. Stay active- staying in may feel easier and
5. Separate yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally from the person. Disconnect from them on social media.
6. Take time for yourself. A quiet book, a soak in the bath tub, a walk in the park? Taking time to reflect can be very beneficial.
7. Pet therapy – animals can be a great way to receive physical affection and can help keep you in the moment.
8. See a counselor- find someone to talk this out with. The benefits of using a third party is that you can get perspective from someone not attached to your ex. This person can also help you grieve your relationship, set new goals, and provide a safe environment to share what is on your heart and mind.
9. Try something new. This can help you focus on something exciting and challenging in your life.
Pay attention to your body and give yourself time to heal. Know that you are processing a loss which can impact your life in numerous ways and staying in tune with this can help as you rediscover this new chapter in your life.
I was meeting with a client this week talking about the struggle of saying no.So many of us, wanting to be people pleasers worry about the repercussions of saying no.I challenged my client to think about how saying no might actually be saying yes.Here are some thoughts about how this might be the case:
It can free up time to allow for self-care.
It may allow us to spend more time doing other things that take priority or that have been hanging over our head.
It can allow us to be more present in our lives for the things we have already said yes to.
Maybe by you saying no this allows someone else an opportunity to say yes?
Perhaps saying no to one opportunity actually allows for time to commit to something else.
Recently I’ve reminded myself to take pause before saying yes/no.This allows me time to be thorough and thoughtful in my decision making. If you find yourself still struggling with how to proceed, you might consider what the three most important values/priorities in your life right now.If this new opportunity does not somehow feed into one of those perhaps it is not the time to take this on.If it does align with one of those values then maybe there is something else that you are involved in that you can let go of so that you can more easily say yes?
It is so important to pay attention to what we are involved in from day to day so that we do not become stressed, overwhelmed, resentful, and unhappy in our lives.Please feel free to share with me how saying no is saying yes in your life right now!
Today marks 2 years since my private practice opened. I’ve taken time over the last month to reflect on this powerful journey. It has been such an honor and privilege to work with so many individuals and families who have walked in the door and opened their hearts and minds. Tough questions have been asked, painful circumstances have been shared, accomplishments celebrated, and I’ve watched as my clients have courageously challenged themselves to keep growing and healing. I feel very fortunate and deep gratitude for everyone I have had the opportunity to work with.
I would also like to acknowledge some of those people who have made this endeavor possible. Thank you Michelle Brown, LPC for sharing your office space and creating a warm, welcoming, and safe environment; I so appreciate your assistance and support. Thank you to my supervisors at PeaceHealth Sacred Heart Riverbend for listening, guiding, and supporting me as I continue to works towards my LCSW; this also includes my stellar colleagues there! There are so many individuals who have cheered me on including numerous friends and family both near and far. A special thank you to my professors and classmates at the University of Southern California as well as Chatham University. Last but not least I thank Jeremy for supporting my dreams with unquestionable belief that I can accomplish what I set out to do.
My Very Best,
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie
Lately I’ve been working with some clients who are struggling in their relationships. Feelings include frustration, anger, resentment, loneliness, pain, confusion, and sadness. Questions I’ve seen clients ask themselves include:
Have I done all I can to save this relationship?
Am I ready to lose this person from my life entirely?
What else will I lose in my life if I say goodbye to this person (friends, family, financial stability, home, belongings)?
Will I be able to find love again?
Will I regret leaving?
Will I be happier?
Often times there are imbalances in relationships that can be looked at and discussed and those include the division of chores, time spent together, financial discrepancies, health issues, lack of support systems, and conflicting visions/goals for the future. It can be helpful for couples to keep talking about what they want their lives to look like both individually and as a couple. Too often we may assume odd dreams remain the same, but the truth is that we are evolving being and what we wanted 3 years ago may have changed.
There are other signs that indicate that the relationship is an unhealthy one and those include:
physical and sexual violence
name calling and degrading comments
problematic alcohol use
lack of intimacy
If you find any number of these problems in your relationship it would be beneficial for you to talk to someone to make a safe place to reduce the chance of harm. Intimate partner violence is a serious matter and utilizing professionals is highly recommended. Use this hotline if you or someone you know needs to talk to someone now: (800)799-SAFE (800.799.7233).
Knowing when to leave can often be a difficult process. If you find challenges in your relationship are not improving but you are not ready to leave, consider couples counseling which can help foster difficult discussions about what each individual wants and needs. It can provide time to reflect on what’s working and what’s not working, and a counselor can provide tools for discussions and goal setting that can be beneficial.
Letting go can be difficult and accompanying that is a process of grief and loss. Remember this does not need to take place in isolation and many could benefit from individual counseling at this point. This can be helpful in the grieving process, taking time to re-group and think about what you want in your life, and reflect on what you’ve learned about yourself in this process.